We have all met crazy crazy people in our lives. As a person who is creative and has been involved in theatre, I may have met more than my fair share of slightly eccentric beloved crazy people. But the startling thing is that the crazy people do not live in a part of the city that is cordoned off with warning tape. THEY ARE ALL AROUND US.
And they are waiting to attack.
My first impression of a person being a bit off was strongly impressed upon my fragile little soul. I still recall it with feelings of uncomfortable bewildered foreboding. I was in Lenscrafters at the mall with my mother and we were getting a pair of glasses to correct my horrible mole-like vision when this old lady came up to us. I was feeling absolutely smashing that day, mostly because of the beautiful silver dragon pendant that I had bought and was wearing like a big grown-up girl (I still have this pendant. It is my friend.).
The lady seemed to be pretty nice. She asked my mother and I how we were and what was going on. My mother had scarcely managed a neutral reply when she launched into a crazy rant against Harry Potter. I was bewildered. My mother was saying neutral things in an effort to placate her. Then, she shifted her crazy eyes to my shiny pendant and started in on me.
crazylady: What is that?
Me: Its a dragon!
crazylady: Where did you get it?
Me:...I bought it.
crazylady: Where?
Me: At a store.
crazylady: Why?
Me: I like dragons!
crazylady: What?!
Me: Dragons are awesome! I have dragon figurines and I'm writing a story about dragons and-
crazylady: Dragons are evil!
Me: *uncomprehending stare*
crazylady: (to mother) You shouldn't let her have that!
Mother: *Something neutral; tries to steer my wide-eyed self away from the lady I am beginning to realize is a wee bit off*
crazylady: You need to set a good example for your daughter!
SO... for those of you who skimmed that conversation and are lazy bums who use cliff notes as a replacement to the real thing instead of a supplement, the crux of crazy lady's argument was:
YOU WILL BURN LITTLE GIRL! YOU WILL BURN IN HELL! YOUR MOTHER WILL BURN FOR LEADING YOU ASTRAY! ALL READERS OF HARRY POTTER WILL BURN IN HELL! HELL SHALL COME FOR ALL OF YOU SINNERS!
So you can see why this emotionally crushing experience remained with me. It has warped my soul. To this day, I do not like Lenscrafters...
Actually, that might have more to do with my problems with getting glasses that are non-stupid from them. See one of my earliest posts, The Saga of the Glasses, for more information.
I was to little and weirded out to defend myself then, but I think that I can defend myself now.
crazylady: Dragons are evil!
Modernhelen: You are mistaken my dear lady! Throughout the East dragons are revered as sacred guardians of wisdom, precious gems, water, rain, and the heavens themselves! Perhaps in the West they are often seen as mindless destructive brutes, or as adversaries who are demonic, as seen with the dragon that St. George slew, but dragons can be courageous and awesome! The association between dragons and the devil is because the devil wishes he was awesome enough to be associated with the awesomeness of dragons! I am using a lot of explanation marks in this speech! You are wrong intolerant crazylady of Lenscrafters!
Someone please invent a time machine so that I can appear in a magical cloud of smoke and explain this all to the crazylady.
Of course, if I magically appeared in a magical cloud of smoke, she might get the wrong impression...
ModernHelen
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