There are some people who should not be allowed to teach.
There are some people who should not be allowed near small impressionable children.
And then, there are those special special people who should not be allowed to teach AND should not be allowed near small impressionable children.
But, these people, especially those in the last category, rarely seem to acknowledge their own short-comings and ineptitude in their chosen fields. With this in mind, I have to share some of the fun experiences that I had during the formative years of my youth when I was a precocious child (aka a smart-mouthed little twerp).s
The crazy music teacher
This woman was crazy. I'm not kidding. My mom says that all of the mothers would talk about how crazy she was. This woman was obsessed with these inflatable band instruments that she had and with making her little choir programs absolutely perfect.
Have you ever had to pretend to play inflatable hot-pink guitar while wearing an elf costume and screaming Jingle Bell Rock in front of a bunch of googly-eyed parents for ten minutes?
I have.
Eventually, I realized that getting up at 5:30 to be in this woman's choir thing was horrible and I didn't go back.
After calling in my mother for a special talk and raving like about how talented I was and how she wanted me back in the chorus, She maturely threatened to get me kicked out of a special audition-only children's chorus that I was part of. She told my mom that:
1) she was friends with the director.
2) kids who were in this select choir were also required to be in a school choir.
3) SHE WAS GONNA GET ME KICKED OUT.
All of these claims were false. My mom called the director of my children's choir. I'm going to pretend that the conversation went something like this:
DirectorWoman: Hello?
Mom: This is Helen's Mom. I am calling because my daughter's crazy choir teacher at school says that she cannot be apart of your choir if she isn't in her school's choir.
DirectorWoman: That isn't true. What school does she go to?
Mom: She goes to *insert generic elementary school name here*.
DirectorWoman: Oh! I know all about that woman. She's bothered us before. Don't worry about it.
Mom: She sure is crazy! (laughs)
DirectorWoman: Yes she is! Isn't it good to have some crazy people as teachers that warp our children's fragile little minds?
Mom: Yep!
Well, it turns out that the crazy music teacher was a tad bit too crazy. She was fired after screaming "I'LL KILL YOU!" at a little girl multiple times. Not in a funny way. In a crazy and scary way.
ModernHelen
ps: points points to anyone who found the South Park Movie reference.
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