Socks

Today I am going to talk about socks. If you are not a fan of socks, please do not read this post. If you are suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder from an incident or incidents involving socks, continuing to read could be damaging to your mental health.

That is my disclaimer.

Shoes, especially womens' shoes, are ridiculously uncomfortable, and I like having socks to protect my feet from those dastardly shoes. Socks can also be fun and personalized. They can be short, long or anywhere in between.

One time, I actually went into a sock boutique. There were over priced socks everywhere, and I bought some. My favorite pair have alligators on them, so its like "AH ALLIGATORS ARE EATING MY FEET".

But, I do have a few problems with socks now that I think of it.

First of all, why do they get so dirty so quickly? Those lazy jerks just love to get all icky and dirty and worn out, so that I have to but too many extra pairs! I understand that they are on my feet all day, but that is no excuse.

Secondly, why do I have so many missing socks all the time?I swear that every single time that I do laundry I lose socks. The only explanation is that there is a monster in the laundry machine that eats them. Terry Pratchett imagined a very interesting "eater of socks" in The Hogfather (excellent book! you must read). Or maybe there are gremlins in the washing machine and they make little smocks out of the socks that they steal...

Tertiarily, Why do they come off of my feet when I am sleeping? Do I sleep walk and have so many epic battles that my socks just spontaneously fall off of my feet? And then get lost in my sheets forever and ever?

Fourthly and finally, why do they no longer make socks the length i want them to be? I do not like anklets and I do not like knee-highs, but I have been having a heck of a problem finding anything else!

Now I cannot stop thinking about socks.

THEY STRIKE AGAIN!

Hope that you all enjoyed this because I will not be posting again until finals are over, after December 16th. I know that you will be saddened, but you all must learn to live without my awesomeness for a few days. Besides, I am fairly certain many of YOU have finals that you should be studying for!

ModernHelen