Things that I will never ever be

I am tired of people talking about how everything can happen if you just believe. It is annoying and clearly wrong. Below are some things that I will never ever be no matter how much I believe in myself.

1) I will never be a Navy Seal
-When I was little, I seriously wanted to be a Navy Seal. There are several things standing in the way of this. First of all, I am a woman. Second of all, I am five foot one. Third of all, I have the upper body strength of a boiled piece of spaghetti and the endurance of a teddy bear hamster.

2) I will never be a dancer
-Generally, dancers are expected to not trip on air. Just sayin'

3) I will never by a marine biologist
-I have horrible sinuses that keep me from going more than five feet under water. No one wants a marine biologist who so clearly fails at going underwater!

4) I will never be a supervillain
-Sadly, I am too bouncy and adorable to be a supervillain. However, I still have hope of being the conniving girlfriend of a supervillain...

5)I will never be a mathematician
-I am perfectly okay with this. Being a mathematician is at least the fourth level of hell. Its probably the ninth. It may well be the twelfth.

6) I will never be a cyborg
-THEY'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!

7) I will never be a serial killer
-No upper arm strength. Plus too adorable. Plus I am very squeamish and think that serial killers are disgusting.*

8) I will never be a Hollywood actress
-I am fairly certain you have to be a drunk drug-addicted wreck for this to happen. At least, that is what the tabloids have led me to believe.

9) I will never be a model
-I am six inches too short.

10) I will never be a vampire slayer
-Vampires don't exist, so there is no need for vampire slayers.

11) I will never be a man.
-I'm very female, and I cannot see this changing in the near future.

ModernHelen
*If any of my readers are serial killers, please don't take personal offense, and please don't come surprise me.