You know how everyone is always like "OMG! It is the most fattening time of the year! I am going to eat nine servings of turkey and an entire pie with every meal, and dunk my mashed potatoes into a moat of gravy! I am going to gain so much weight!"
I am not like everyone. I am a unique person when it comes to the holidays. Instead of gaining weight at the end of the year and then losing it during the spring and summer like a normal person, I gain weight during the summer and lose it all during the winter.
Why you ask?
It is partially because of the stress of school and finals. I am in a constant state of panic and low level dread, and this burns massive piles of calories. As the workload heats up and school starts to get more intense, I lose more and more weight, until I am down to about 100, about eight pounds less than my healthy weight.
However, the real reason is that I don't like ANYTHING that people stuff themselves with during the holiday meals.
I do not like:
1) Gravy. I never have and I never will. This is merely a liquid mixture of fat, turkey innards, milk, butter, and flour. Think about it. Gravy is disgusting.
2) Stuffing.
3) Cranberry Sauce. Especially when it retains its can-like shape, because you were too lazy to break it up and pretend that you made it yourself.
4) Pie. The only pie I like is chocolate. All other pies are unbearably sweet to me.
5) Turkey. Don't get me wrong, turkey is okay. I just have about seven other kinds of meat that I prefer to Turkey.
6) Yams with brown sugar. I eat my yams with butter and salt like a REAL man...woman... I don't understand the obsessive desire to add MORE sugar to something that is all ready sweet.
7) Eggnog. It is vile and goes bad too easily. And then you get a bunch of sick, angry, drunk party guests, which is seldom a smart plan.
8) Gingerbread. Just not good about 90% of the time.
9) Mashed Potatoes. I hate them and their squishy texture. I think that potatoes have the right to me baked, not mashed.
I DO like chocolate and cider though, which is a good thing. Sometimes, this is all that I have to eat at family meals.
Do not hate me or call me unamerican for my aversion to holiday goodies. I am just a special overly stressed crazy American woman, like everyone else in this great land.
ModernHelen
ps: Finals are coming, and I make absolutely NO promises in regards to my ability to publish in a timely fashion. If you feel bereft and deprived of my blogtasticness, then you probably need to get a little bit more of a life...
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