My Philosophy Teacher

Sorry I haven't updated in a while. Life has been beating me with a spork, which is to say I am puzzled and confused, and don't know exactly what I am doing or what is happening...

I have decided that my philosophy teacher is awesome enough to get his own blog post.

Remember how I said that I seem to be magically trustworthy in the minds of teachers? And how I was responsible for making sure that no one left his seat while my teacher went to get his notes? Well, here is another interesting conversation that happened in philosophy

Teacherman: I am keeping you all a little late so that we can get through this. No one has class after two on a friday.

Randomkid: I do!

Teacherman: What?

Randomkid: I have a lab!

Teacherman: No you don't.

Randomkid: Um... yes I do?

Teacherman: You're lying to me.

Soccergirl: He does have class. I have class too! We have classes in the same building.

Teacherman: What?

Soccergirl: I have French at two.

Teacherman: I don't believe either of you. Its all a conspiracy. Helen!

Me: Huh?

Teacherman: Walk over there with them and call me if they are lying.

Me: *Deer in the headlights look*

I did not actually walk over there but it was still a scary moment. Why do I seem to be so trustworthy? I have these slightly slanted elfish eyes; I look slightly tricksy if anything!

Teacherman also likes to make sure that we are all at every class, so he takes attendance...

Teacherman (to one kid): Where is your friend?

Onekid: Uh... he should be here...

Teacherman: I am tired of him coming in late.

Onekid: What, do you want me to call him?

Teacherman:Yes.

Onekid: Um? Okay... (calls friend) Hey... Where are you? (To teacherman).

Teacherman: Give me that (takes phone). Where are you?... Sleeping?... It's after one!... Be here in five minutes (Hangs up phone).

ANYWAYS, today my awesome grandfather sent me about six pounds of chocolate. I think he is trying to get me to gain weight. I gave out chocolate to some of the kids in my philosophy class in a moment of kind-heartedness (and a desperate desire to get rid of some of it before it went straight to my thighs). My philosophy teacher saw the giant package with the chocolate in it.

Teacherman: What's in that?

Me: Chocolate! My grandfather sent it to me!

Teacherman: All chocolate?

Me: Yeah! Would you like a piece?

Teacherman: Your grandfather must love you.

Yep. Chocolate is a proof of my grandfather's love for me as much as coffee is a proof of God's existance.

Here are some other things teacherman has said:

"Don't use that excuse. I didn't fall off the turnip truck yesterday."

"I don't mean to anthropomorphize dogs. Though my yellow lab is loquacious around people whereas the chocolate lab seems a bit more taciturn..."

"I am sure that it is not nothing, which is to say that it is something"

"It would still be Snoopy, albeit a purple Snoopy"

"One of my wife's and my guilty pleasures... not that guilty or that pleasurable...."

Basically, I have a blast in this class. He uses REALLY BIG WORDS but I feel like I am understanding them, which is nice. I also get a sense that he thinks some/all of us are crazy. Though, with some of the questions thrown at him (eg: "Why do we have to think of all these thought experiments?" "Why couldn't he have said that thing that he said the way that you said it?" "When are you going to bring us raisin bread?") I am not surprised.

modernHelen

ps: This was a fun post! I think that I will do some more about my other teachers. Nothing mean; I really like all of my teachers!