Lots of people have questions about publishing books, short stories, etc. So, how do you know that something which you have written has any literary worth and should be published? Because my slightly obsessive compulsive nature loves lists, I have compiled one to aid you all.
1. Are there vampires?
If there are, you should not publish this.
2. Are there werewolves?
See number one.
3. Are any of the characters named Bella, Jacob, or Edward?
These names have been ruined forever. Change the names of your characters before considering publication.
4. Is there an epic moral lesson?
The moral lesson probably is not as epic and deep as you think it is. Focus more on how you present the themes of the book than on having deep dramatic overarching themes.
5. Is there romance?
Please don't write about TRUE LOVE unless you feel as if you have experienced it. (Note: watching Disney movies does not count).
6. How long is this book anyway??
While some authors are...prolific... in their words and create never ending sagas set in foreign lands and past/future times, most people lose interest after 400 pages. PLEASE STOP if you find yourself pushing the 1000 page mark because their is absolutely no novel in the history of earth that should be this long. If you reach 2000 pages I cannot help you.
7. SO... Srayehe and mnepooopop are going to the mystical world of Hejenekj with a Poemkme?
If it looks like these names are random letters it is because they are. Please DO NOT make up names unless you have some sort of comic genius or you are Tolkien. If there are hyphens, apostrophes, or other bizarre symbols in your characters' names I WILL find you.
8. Is it in the second person?
NO SECOND PERSON unless you are trying to revamp the Choose you own Adventure books.
9. Is it in dramatic or angsty verse?
Please. We all were teenagers (I am still a teenager actually...) and we have all read enough of our own dramatic and angst poetry without reading yours. Unless you are writing the next Beowulf please refrain.
10. You told me there would be three books! Why are there seven?!?!?
Please don't do the never ending series thing just so you can keep milking your success.
If you have followed all of these guidelines, Congratulations!
Now, you just have to make sure that your story is interesting, well written, well edited, and not a thinly veiled political statement!
Actually, if you ignore these last tips, you might have a hit on your hands...
ModernHelen
No comments:
Post a Comment