Alright, here is some back-story for you dearest dearest readers of mine. I freaking love the Sci-Fi channel. I love the very idea of the Sci-Fi channel. It connects me with nerds everywhere. I like some of the original series of the Sci-Fi channel (not all of them). I like the series and the movies that they somehow manage to steal and broadcast to nerds everywhere.
But more than all these things, I enjoy the original Sci-Fi channel movies. They are crazy movies with low budget, crappy special effects, bad dialogue, and washed up actors whose careers as legitimate serious actors have either already ended or about to end as a direct result of the movie that they are staring in. Some of these beautiful movies include plots such as: a Native American spirit man accidentally makes dinosaur skeletons (not dinosaurs. Just their moving skeletons...) come to life and they eat people; dumb people open a box that clearly should not be opened and an angry banshee tries to kill everybody; and, in a plot so dumb that it is beautiful, two washed up pop divas feed steroids to alligators and snakes leading to... Megapython vs. Gatoroid.
Watching the delightfully predictable carnage of these movies is a great source of fun for me. This leads me into my latest cunning plan whereby I become, in some way, shape, or form involved with the Sci-Fi original movies of complete awesomeness.
The plan has two forms:
1) I become an incredibly successful and well-received actress. Once I have established my place of fame, I promptly, and with much delight, destroy my promising career by staring in and producing approximately ninety-zillion* original Sci-Fi movies.
2) I write a movie script, submit it to Sci-Fi channel, and dance like the highly-evolved ape that I am when they decide to make it into a movie.
This is the more likely plan. I can actually write pretty well, and there isn't a huge emphasis on character development (other than the blatantly obvious cliche ploys), so I guess that my weaknesses there will not be too bad...
I plan on researching for this movie by watching... you guessed it... MORE original Sci-Fi movies until I have the formula down to a science. Then I will write a script and send it in, screaming of amateurishness, completely unsolicited and wait to see what happens.
This idea is so brilliant that I cannot be the first person to come up with it. Hopefully, they will actually look at my script, recognize its raw potential for awesomeness, and buy it for a tidy sum of money that will tide me over until the end of college.
IF YOU STEAL MY CUNNING PLAN I WILL ATTACK YOUR FACE WITH MY AWESOME NOT TO BE DISCLOSED MOVIE MONSTER!!!!
ModernHelen
* This is my favorite number
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