Life

Last night I had an epiphany.
You may be tempted to shake my hand and congratulate me and wish me all the best.
But, the epiphany went something like this:

Me: I'm tired and despondent!

Epiphany: HELLO HELEN!!

Me: OMG! An epiphany!!! Hooray!!! I can finally figure out what to do with my life! Tell me oh wise one. Tell me many many things.

Epiphany: Actually, I just stopped by to tell you I have absolutely no idea about what you should do with your life.

Me: What??

Epiphany: But don't do math! Math is bad.

Me: I already knew about Math! Don't you have anything remotely useful to tell me?

Epiphany: Nope. I just came to give you doubt and insecurity and lots of existential despair. Happy Birthday!

Me: It isn't  my birthday and that's a terrible present!

Epiphany: Whatever. I have to go let small children realize how utterly insignificant they are in the grand scheme of things. And tell some politicians that they should be president of America.

Me: NOOOOO!!!!!

I have no idea what to do with my life. However, I did manage to write several terrible sonnets and several pages of the novel that I am working on in a zen state of utter bizarreness.

P.S.: I have a fun story to share with you.

I was on the airplane and this elderly couple were sitting next to me. They seemed pretty nice and I talked to the woman for a little while, but then I realized something about them was creeping me out. What was it? I couldn't put my finger on it.

Finally, I realized that it was the fact that the husband was grasping his wife just above the knee FOR THE ENTIRE PLANE RIDE. As someone with sensory integration issues, this is very disturbing to me. If someone touched me for that long I would probably smack them on the face.

ModernHelen