So, I am reading Descartes's Discourse on Method for Philosophy. I am pleased by this because it means an end to Luther. I enjoyed Luther, but I did not enjoy a certain child who monopolized 200% of the class time.
That's right. He monopolized SO MUCH OF THE CLASS TIME that he broke the laws of space and time, enabling him to monopolize more that 100%.
Luther is a bit difficult to understand. The whole premise of his theology is grace or salvation through faith alone. This means that, counter to the Catholic view, works count for nothing. We have to read the Word of God (revealed in the Scripture) and hope that God enters our hearts and saves us because we have no free will, and are either saved despite our sins or damned because of them. I had a lot of difficulty understanding Luther. For example, I have to pretty much take his word for all the Scripture that he is quoting because I have read very little of the Bible. however, this kid wasn't having a problem with reading Luther; he was having a problem with Luther.
For example:
Professor: So, Luther says that none of us have free will. The will is subject either to Satan or to God. You are either saved or damned, and there isn't a damned thing that you can do about it. If you dare to think otherwise or believe that you have even a tiny little bit of free will then you are damned.
The Kid: No he doesn't!
Professor: Uh... yes he does.
The Kid: But we do have free will!
Professor: Not according to Luther.
The Kid: We do have free will, it just isn't very free. It's just enough for us to choose whether or not we are saved.
Professor: What you just said is the traditional Catholic view. It is not Luther's.
The Kid: You're wrong! Luther says that we do have free will!
Professor: I'm starting to worry not only about your eternal soul but also about your exam grades in this class.
This went on and on and on and on. For three class periods. I do not think that I have ever heard a person so full of himself before in my life. He wasn't even bothering to try to understand Luther's argument and then determine that his own theological views conflicted with said argument. He just went at it with Luther. He was also throwing Scripture out there like snappy Bible quotes were the Keys to the Kingdom. Also, he had a voice... have you ever met someone who's voice not only grates horribly against your soul but also is dripping with a condescending pretension that you did not even realize could exist?? That is this kid's voice.
Finally...
The Kid: Well I'm a Lutheran and we say that you do have some free will.
Professor: Well, then maybe the Lutheran view has switched back to a more Catholic viewpoint. The concept of having no control over your own salvation is not a comforting one. But it is Luther's view.
The Kid: But Lutherans...
Me: What LUTHERANS believe and what LUTHER believes are two different things! It's like saying that what ALL CHRISTIANS believe and what JESUS believes are the same thing when there are clear differences!
*a moment of silence*
The Kid: We have free will!
Professor: All right... I'm going to read you a few more pertinent passages in the time remaining to us...
If this kid argues against Descartes in this way, I will use my Biology skills to go Scientific Method on his rear, and no number of Bible quotes will save him.
ModernHelen
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Thursday, January 27, 2011
The Best Ways to Waste time on the Internet
Say that you have homework that you really don't want to do or some other activity that you would rather just avoid. I have compiled here for your edification and enlightenment how to avoid doing what you are supposed to be doing and instead waste time on the internet!
1. Fanfiction.net.: Any and every random ending, character pairing, and crossover you can think of has been written about on this site. It is really really hilarious, often badly written, and occasionally downright scary what people come up with. Also, if you read enough fanfiction, you will begin to forget what actually happened in the movie/book/tvshow/anime/cartoon that you are reading fanfics of. I read so much Harry Potter fanfiction that I became convinced that Neville Longbottom and Luna Lovegood got married and that Neville succeeded Dumbledore as headmaster. I was really surprised when I reread The Deathly Hallows and this did not happen.
2. Blogs (such as the one you are reading now!): Blogs can take you to the ramblings of any mind on the planet. Some of my favorites are theoatmeal and hyperboleandahalf. blogs teach us that life in this century is really just looking at the crazy things you did, realizing how crazy they were, and posting them on the internet. Sometimes with pictures. I will start posting my own hilarious pictures again when I finally get my de-spywared computer back from the computer people and can use MSPaint again.
3. Random games: You have no idea how much I adore random games on the internet. Well, you do now... Below are some of my super favorites:
-texttwist: Part of yahoo games. You can play a free version on the internet! It is basically a game of magical anagram finding. This game will make you a master of Boggle* too!
-dynomite: Available from popcaps games. You get to smash dinosaur eggs of the same color to get points. Excellent sound effects! I really enjoyed this game.
-Wordbubbles: This is part of luminosity.com, a site that is supposed to make your brain better. It was recommended to me by hyperboleandahalf. This game is basically awesome. It is very similar to texttwist, but instead of doing anagrams you have to come up with as many words with the same two letters of varying lengths that you can. This game is also a Boggle* booster.
4. Facebook: Welcome to a world of knowing what everyone you have ever met is doing whenever they post about it. You can laugh at the hilarity and live vicariously through the lives of your epic friends and swap inside jokes and amusing comments with whomever you want. There are quizzes and random games and anything your little heart could desire to help you delay homework for just a little while longer.
5. The Cheeseburger Network: This includes such favorite sites as icanhazcheeseburger, failblog, and verydemotivational. There are loads and loads of pages of hilarious misadventures happening to other people. There are cats acting entirely too adorable and spelling badly. What's not to love? I have managed to waste hours at a time on this site.
6. Youtube: This is probably the single greatest internet time waster known to man. And possibly to any aliens who are picking up the signals being sent from earth into outer space. Everyday gazillions of new random things are uploaded. You will never ever ever be able to watch everything, but I challenge you to try and witness the amazing amount of time that you waste.
Moderhelen
* I challenge everyone who reads this to a Boggle match. Not to toot my own horn or anything but I will beat you, probably by an embarrassing margin. If, on the other hand, my boasting proves in vain and you unseat me from my Boggle throne, I promise to do a blog in your honor about whatever you want me to blog about, provided that it is PG-13.
1. Fanfiction.net.: Any and every random ending, character pairing, and crossover you can think of has been written about on this site. It is really really hilarious, often badly written, and occasionally downright scary what people come up with. Also, if you read enough fanfiction, you will begin to forget what actually happened in the movie/book/tvshow/anime/cartoon that you are reading fanfics of. I read so much Harry Potter fanfiction that I became convinced that Neville Longbottom and Luna Lovegood got married and that Neville succeeded Dumbledore as headmaster. I was really surprised when I reread The Deathly Hallows and this did not happen.
2. Blogs (such as the one you are reading now!): Blogs can take you to the ramblings of any mind on the planet. Some of my favorites are theoatmeal and hyperboleandahalf. blogs teach us that life in this century is really just looking at the crazy things you did, realizing how crazy they were, and posting them on the internet. Sometimes with pictures. I will start posting my own hilarious pictures again when I finally get my de-spywared computer back from the computer people and can use MSPaint again.
3. Random games: You have no idea how much I adore random games on the internet. Well, you do now... Below are some of my super favorites:
-texttwist: Part of yahoo games. You can play a free version on the internet! It is basically a game of magical anagram finding. This game will make you a master of Boggle* too!
-dynomite: Available from popcaps games. You get to smash dinosaur eggs of the same color to get points. Excellent sound effects! I really enjoyed this game.
-Wordbubbles: This is part of luminosity.com, a site that is supposed to make your brain better. It was recommended to me by hyperboleandahalf. This game is basically awesome. It is very similar to texttwist, but instead of doing anagrams you have to come up with as many words with the same two letters of varying lengths that you can. This game is also a Boggle* booster.
4. Facebook: Welcome to a world of knowing what everyone you have ever met is doing whenever they post about it. You can laugh at the hilarity and live vicariously through the lives of your epic friends and swap inside jokes and amusing comments with whomever you want. There are quizzes and random games and anything your little heart could desire to help you delay homework for just a little while longer.
5. The Cheeseburger Network: This includes such favorite sites as icanhazcheeseburger, failblog, and verydemotivational. There are loads and loads of pages of hilarious misadventures happening to other people. There are cats acting entirely too adorable and spelling badly. What's not to love? I have managed to waste hours at a time on this site.
6. Youtube: This is probably the single greatest internet time waster known to man. And possibly to any aliens who are picking up the signals being sent from earth into outer space. Everyday gazillions of new random things are uploaded. You will never ever ever be able to watch everything, but I challenge you to try and witness the amazing amount of time that you waste.
Moderhelen
* I challenge everyone who reads this to a Boggle match. Not to toot my own horn or anything but I will beat you, probably by an embarrassing margin. If, on the other hand, my boasting proves in vain and you unseat me from my Boggle throne, I promise to do a blog in your honor about whatever you want me to blog about, provided that it is PG-13.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Muzzy: How it has messed with my brain
For those of you who have no idea what Muzzy is, I feel sorry for you. Your parents obviously never loved you enough to desire to make you bilingual. Let me explain Muzzy. Muzzy was a strange strange cartoon that has videos, tapes, computer games, and positive moral values. The dialogue could be in Spanish, German, French, or English, and there was a vague storyline that was interspersed with random lessons about whatever language you were supposed to be watching. Most of the time these lessons were sung.
The main characters were:
A Princess named Sylvia. She introduced herself saying: "I'm Slyvia and I'm pretty". I think she iceskated...
A Gardener named Bob. He introduced himself saying: "I'm Bob the gardener. I'm in love with Princess Slyvia" He had a red hat that I desire to destroy...
A King and a Queen, who were Sylvias parents and basically disapproved of everything.
Corvax, some kind of evil clever guy who I think probably kidnapped Sylvia at some point. He looked like a green vampire and introduced himself by saying, "I'm Corvax and I'm clever". I think that it is important to note that not all clever people are evil as this cartoon would have you believe.
And Muzzy, an alien from outer space who liked to eat clocks.That was how he introduced himself: "I'm Muzzy and I like to eat clocks"
I still remember how all of those terrible characters introduced themselves. It is brain space that I will never get back. Of course, I don't remember any German as was the intention....
The intent was to make the stupefied children watching it intelligent. I imagine that is is supposed to go something like this:
Smallchild: I am an American and therefore I know no other languages! I am going to grow up with limited mental capacities due to the limitations of only being able to think in ONE FREAKING LANGUAGE!
Muzzysalesman: Don't you love your poor Smallchild?
LovingParent: DEAR GOD YES!! I LOVE THAT LITTLE DICKENS!
Muzzysalesman: Well then, you had better buy this instructional thingy-dookikey to keep your child from failling at life.
LovingParent: OH MY GOD! If my child fails at life, then I won't be able to live vicariously through her! I 'll have to pressure her into dropping out of college to give me grandbabies so that I can live vicariously through them! I MUST HAVE MUZZY!!!
Smallchild: ???
LovingParent: Watch this Muzzy! Muzzy will let you succeed!! I AM PRESSURING YOU TO SUCCEED!!
Smallchild: Fiiiiine.
So... now I bet that you think that the small child is going to grow up to be a proficient and bilingual member of society right? WRONG. The small child will simply play the computer games and watch the English version of Muzzy. She will keep repeating lines from the bizarre script and playing the computer games. But she will do all of it in English.
*Two months later*
SmallChild: MY NAME IS MUZZY AND I LIKE TO EAT CLOCKS!!!!
LovingParent: Sweetie?! Could you say that in German?
Smallchild: NO!!! NO!! NO!!! NO!!!
LovingParent: Please??!!
SmallChild: CLOCKS CLOCKS CLOCKS Muzzy EATS CLOCKS!!!
So... basically Muzzy has joined the long list of vague visual stimuli that skitter maddenly around my childhood memory and make me certain that I was pretty crazy back then. I really don't think that children should be allowed to watch cartoons even if it is supposed to help them succeed...
ModernHelen
Ps: Props to Claire for instantly knowing what I was talking about! Apparently she went to a magnet school for languages where the children are pressure by Lovingparents AND Teachers to succeed.
Oh the horror.
The main characters were:
A Princess named Sylvia. She introduced herself saying: "I'm Slyvia and I'm pretty". I think she iceskated...
A Gardener named Bob. He introduced himself saying: "I'm Bob the gardener. I'm in love with Princess Slyvia" He had a red hat that I desire to destroy...
A King and a Queen, who were Sylvias parents and basically disapproved of everything.
Corvax, some kind of evil clever guy who I think probably kidnapped Sylvia at some point. He looked like a green vampire and introduced himself by saying, "I'm Corvax and I'm clever". I think that it is important to note that not all clever people are evil as this cartoon would have you believe.
And Muzzy, an alien from outer space who liked to eat clocks.That was how he introduced himself: "I'm Muzzy and I like to eat clocks"
I still remember how all of those terrible characters introduced themselves. It is brain space that I will never get back. Of course, I don't remember any German as was the intention....
The intent was to make the stupefied children watching it intelligent. I imagine that is is supposed to go something like this:
Smallchild: I am an American and therefore I know no other languages! I am going to grow up with limited mental capacities due to the limitations of only being able to think in ONE FREAKING LANGUAGE!
Muzzysalesman: Don't you love your poor Smallchild?
LovingParent: DEAR GOD YES!! I LOVE THAT LITTLE DICKENS!
Muzzysalesman: Well then, you had better buy this instructional thingy-dookikey to keep your child from failling at life.
LovingParent: OH MY GOD! If my child fails at life, then I won't be able to live vicariously through her! I 'll have to pressure her into dropping out of college to give me grandbabies so that I can live vicariously through them! I MUST HAVE MUZZY!!!
Smallchild: ???
LovingParent: Watch this Muzzy! Muzzy will let you succeed!! I AM PRESSURING YOU TO SUCCEED!!
Smallchild: Fiiiiine.
So... now I bet that you think that the small child is going to grow up to be a proficient and bilingual member of society right? WRONG. The small child will simply play the computer games and watch the English version of Muzzy. She will keep repeating lines from the bizarre script and playing the computer games. But she will do all of it in English.
*Two months later*
SmallChild: MY NAME IS MUZZY AND I LIKE TO EAT CLOCKS!!!!
LovingParent: Sweetie?! Could you say that in German?
Smallchild: NO!!! NO!! NO!!! NO!!!
LovingParent: Please??!!
SmallChild: CLOCKS CLOCKS CLOCKS Muzzy EATS CLOCKS!!!
So... basically Muzzy has joined the long list of vague visual stimuli that skitter maddenly around my childhood memory and make me certain that I was pretty crazy back then. I really don't think that children should be allowed to watch cartoons even if it is supposed to help them succeed...
ModernHelen
Ps: Props to Claire for instantly knowing what I was talking about! Apparently she went to a magnet school for languages where the children are pressure by Lovingparents AND Teachers to succeed.
Oh the horror.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Dear Universe Part 2
I told you I would eventually start adding additional parts on to my posts labelled part 1! I bet you didn't believe me did you?
Well, shame on you. Shame on all of you.
I was going to write about the Order of St. Benedict and why I would fail at being a Benedictine Monk, but something came up that I must discuss, so you will all have to wait for that awesome post that may or may not be illustrated.
Dear creators of the spy ware program that my have taken over my laptop,
I hate you with the passionate vengeance of seriously pissed of scorpions. The tiny small scorpions that are the most deadly and crawl in your shoes and sting you until your feet swell and fall off. Those scorpions. I do not have money just sitting around in a pile to use to fix my computer or buy a new one. I AM A COLLEGE STUDENT!!! WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO STEAL ANYTHING FROM ME?? I HAVE NOTHING!! Go attack Bill Gates! Of course, that would be difficult...
I also love the fact that this thing that you malicious punks have created keeps trying to pull up adult sites on my laptop. May the wrath of the Old Testament God shine down upon you with the burning beams of ten thousand suns that burn you to crisps! May a thousand dervishes and devils sweep your ashes to the four corners of the earth!
You people better pray that I do not get my hands on you. I have about twenty papers to write this semester and I would LIKE to have A FREAKING COMPUTER to do so. I am a tiny bit sick, I am cold, and I am stressed. Everything was under control until you idiots did this. I am in a seriously angry mood. I will release my velociraptor minions upon you. I will create Skynet so that the terminators come and get you! May you find no haven on land or water! May your children realize what losers you are and turn you over to the authorities! May attack dogs find you irresistible!
Sincerely,
modernHelen
ps: I really really mean it. People who create viruses and spyware are in a very very bad place in my book.
Dear scorpions,
I am sorry if I offended you. I am aware that you do not sting people and cause their feet to fall off. As far as I know. Please do not come for me in the night.
Sincerely,
modernHelen
Dear Old Testament God,
I understand if you are too busy to smite my enemies. Please consider it a friendly suggestion.
Sincerely,
modernHelen
Dear velociraptor minions,
I will totally create you using the awesomeness of evo-devo someday.
Sincerely,
modernHelen
On that lighter note, so ends my rage...
Sing to me, Muse, the rage of ModernHelen
Murderous, justified,
That sent so many ignoble souls down to Hades...
Okay, so maybe my rage isn't ended. Sue me
ModernHelen
Well, shame on you. Shame on all of you.
I was going to write about the Order of St. Benedict and why I would fail at being a Benedictine Monk, but something came up that I must discuss, so you will all have to wait for that awesome post that may or may not be illustrated.
Dear creators of the spy ware program that my have taken over my laptop,
I hate you with the passionate vengeance of seriously pissed of scorpions. The tiny small scorpions that are the most deadly and crawl in your shoes and sting you until your feet swell and fall off. Those scorpions. I do not have money just sitting around in a pile to use to fix my computer or buy a new one. I AM A COLLEGE STUDENT!!! WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO STEAL ANYTHING FROM ME?? I HAVE NOTHING!! Go attack Bill Gates! Of course, that would be difficult...
I also love the fact that this thing that you malicious punks have created keeps trying to pull up adult sites on my laptop. May the wrath of the Old Testament God shine down upon you with the burning beams of ten thousand suns that burn you to crisps! May a thousand dervishes and devils sweep your ashes to the four corners of the earth!
You people better pray that I do not get my hands on you. I have about twenty papers to write this semester and I would LIKE to have A FREAKING COMPUTER to do so. I am a tiny bit sick, I am cold, and I am stressed. Everything was under control until you idiots did this. I am in a seriously angry mood. I will release my velociraptor minions upon you. I will create Skynet so that the terminators come and get you! May you find no haven on land or water! May your children realize what losers you are and turn you over to the authorities! May attack dogs find you irresistible!
Sincerely,
modernHelen
ps: I really really mean it. People who create viruses and spyware are in a very very bad place in my book.
Dear scorpions,
I am sorry if I offended you. I am aware that you do not sting people and cause their feet to fall off. As far as I know. Please do not come for me in the night.
Sincerely,
modernHelen
Dear Old Testament God,
I understand if you are too busy to smite my enemies. Please consider it a friendly suggestion.
Sincerely,
modernHelen
Dear velociraptor minions,
I will totally create you using the awesomeness of evo-devo someday.
Sincerely,
modernHelen
On that lighter note, so ends my rage...
Sing to me, Muse, the rage of ModernHelen
Murderous, justified,
That sent so many ignoble souls down to Hades...
Okay, so maybe my rage isn't ended. Sue me
ModernHelen
Monday, January 17, 2011
Megan
Hey! I'm finally resuming posting again. I was frazzled by the start of the spring semester, but I am back and ready to blow your minds away with the scariness of my blog posts. My blog-stalkers may resume blog-stalking...
I promised Megan that I would write her a blog post after she displayed the epicness of her personality. Megan is a crazy blond woman who lives in my wing. She is obsessed with Harry Potter and has a hat that looks like a happy lion that I once unsuccessfully tried to steal. She swears humorously and has a contagious Russian accent.
So, the other day...
Ashley and I were making cupcakes. Even though we failed due to the chemical engineering major who was helping us adding THREE AND ONE HALF cups instead of ONE AND TWO THIRDS cups (I hope he never makes this mistake with plutonium...), we ended up with carrot cake and halfway decent cupcakes. I ate two cupcakes and two pieces of cake as well as a massive pile of coconut pecan icing, which was frankly amazing.
The resulting massive sugar rush compounded with a random crush on a guy that I just met to create an estrogen fueled temporary madness.
Me: Oh my god! I totally like that guy! A Lot! *bounces*
Ashley: You just met him!
me: Leave me alone! *Giggles in a manner some have judged hysterical*
Ashley: You had too much sugar.
Megan: *enters dramatically* Hey guys!
Ashley: Helen has a crush on a guy she just met!
Megan: Who?
Me: Don't you dare say anything!
Ashley: I'll tell you later.
Megan: Tell me in the hall.
They both leave. I stood there frozen in sugar fueled paranoia for a minute. I changed my shirt. Then, the sugar screamed CHARGE and so I ran down the hall to Megan's room.
Me: *pounds on door*
Megan: *opens door two inches and stares out with one crazy eye*
Me: Is Ashley in there?
Megan: *in a suspicious manner* No
Me: Can I come in?
Megan: No.
Me: IS ASHLEY IN THERE???
Megan: No, she's in the bathroom.
Me: Can I come in?
Megan: No. My eye is watering from the air coming through. *eye twitches creepily*
Me: Can I look for Ashley?
Megan: She isn't here.
Me: ASHLEY! DON'T TELL HER ANYTHING!
Megan: She isn't here!
Me: Why won't you let me in to look for her!!
Megan: Because... I have naughty things on the walls*.
Me: What?? ASHLEY!!!
Ashley's voice (coming from the bathroom): Don't freak out Helen.
Megan: I told you she was in the bathroom!
Megan: (To Ashley) I told her that you were in the bathroom!
Me: Did you tell her anything!?!
Megan: I know about a guy who has a two syllable name.
Me: Ashley!
Megan: I know two letters of the two syllable name.
Me: You better not say anything!
Megan: *in a sudden insane Russian-accented rant* You know what? I know who he is. And I will find him. And I will torture him until he like you. And I guarantee this work. I am like matchmaker. I am like portable dating site. I know this. I have had three boyfriend. I have one, he my boyfriend for three years!
During this rant, Ashley was staring at Megan and I, and I was watching my crazy distended face in a mirror as I laughed and laughed and laughed.
Then people came to see what the heck was going on, and I keep right on laughing.
Me: *suddenly* I now have to go now to watch a movie now with people! *Runs away*
And that is the story of Ashley, Megan, Helen, and TOO MUCH SUGAR.
ModernHelen
I promised Megan that I would write her a blog post after she displayed the epicness of her personality. Megan is a crazy blond woman who lives in my wing. She is obsessed with Harry Potter and has a hat that looks like a happy lion that I once unsuccessfully tried to steal. She swears humorously and has a contagious Russian accent.
So, the other day...
Ashley and I were making cupcakes. Even though we failed due to the chemical engineering major who was helping us adding THREE AND ONE HALF cups instead of ONE AND TWO THIRDS cups (I hope he never makes this mistake with plutonium...), we ended up with carrot cake and halfway decent cupcakes. I ate two cupcakes and two pieces of cake as well as a massive pile of coconut pecan icing, which was frankly amazing.
The resulting massive sugar rush compounded with a random crush on a guy that I just met to create an estrogen fueled temporary madness.
Me: Oh my god! I totally like that guy! A Lot! *bounces*
Ashley: You just met him!
me: Leave me alone! *Giggles in a manner some have judged hysterical*
Ashley: You had too much sugar.
Megan: *enters dramatically* Hey guys!
Ashley: Helen has a crush on a guy she just met!
Megan: Who?
Me: Don't you dare say anything!
Ashley: I'll tell you later.
Megan: Tell me in the hall.
They both leave. I stood there frozen in sugar fueled paranoia for a minute. I changed my shirt. Then, the sugar screamed CHARGE and so I ran down the hall to Megan's room.
Me: *pounds on door*
Megan: *opens door two inches and stares out with one crazy eye*
Me: Is Ashley in there?
Megan: *in a suspicious manner* No
Me: Can I come in?
Megan: No.
Me: IS ASHLEY IN THERE???
Megan: No, she's in the bathroom.
Me: Can I come in?
Megan: No. My eye is watering from the air coming through. *eye twitches creepily*
Me: Can I look for Ashley?
Megan: She isn't here.
Me: ASHLEY! DON'T TELL HER ANYTHING!
Megan: She isn't here!
Me: Why won't you let me in to look for her!!
Megan: Because... I have naughty things on the walls*.
Me: What?? ASHLEY!!!
Ashley's voice (coming from the bathroom): Don't freak out Helen.
Megan: I told you she was in the bathroom!
Megan: (To Ashley) I told her that you were in the bathroom!
Me: Did you tell her anything!?!
Megan: I know about a guy who has a two syllable name.
Me: Ashley!
Megan: I know two letters of the two syllable name.
Me: You better not say anything!
Megan: *in a sudden insane Russian-accented rant* You know what? I know who he is. And I will find him. And I will torture him until he like you. And I guarantee this work. I am like matchmaker. I am like portable dating site. I know this. I have had three boyfriend. I have one, he my boyfriend for three years!
During this rant, Ashley was staring at Megan and I, and I was watching my crazy distended face in a mirror as I laughed and laughed and laughed.
Then people came to see what the heck was going on, and I keep right on laughing.
Me: *suddenly* I now have to go now to watch a movie now with people! *Runs away*
And that is the story of Ashley, Megan, Helen, and TOO MUCH SUGAR.
ModernHelen
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Belated New Years
Happy Belated New Years Post Everybody!
In honor of the fact that this is a belated New Years Post, I am going to tell you the tale of the belated Christmas Presents that we sent to my cousins in California.
My mother is an intelligent woman who understands that people are strangely dumb with delivering packages on time, especially with the influx of Christmas gifts. So, she sent the presents by express, or whatever the super-fast shipping that costs extra money is called, on December 8th. By Christmas, the presents still ahdn't arrived. The conclusion that my mom and my aunt reached was that the presents had in fact arrived but that they had been stolen off of the front porch.
I had a hard time imagining the kind of person who would randomly steal packages that turned out to contain Christmas presents for children, but I guess that it takes all kinds or something like that.
Anyway, the presents were not stolen and arrived on the 29th, which is only 21 FLIPPIN' DAYS after they were sent.
Intrigued, my mom found the tracking number for the presents and looked up there travel path. The path went a little something like this:
December 8th: Presents sent!
December 11th: Presents in California! The wrong part of California....
December 13thish: Presents in Maryland for some unknown reason!!
December 13thish-December 26thish: Presents chillin' in Maryland!!!
December 27th: Presents in North Carolina (the state of my birth)!!!!!
December 29th: Presents are FINALLY where they belong in the right part of California. My cousins enjoy belated Christmas gifts.
I have recently ordered my school books for next semester. They are supposed to be here by Wednesday afternoon, but I am concerned about them arriving in time now. I have no faith in the US Postal System.
If they do not get here in time and parents have to ship them to my college, I may cry a little bit...
ModernHelen
In honor of the fact that this is a belated New Years Post, I am going to tell you the tale of the belated Christmas Presents that we sent to my cousins in California.
My mother is an intelligent woman who understands that people are strangely dumb with delivering packages on time, especially with the influx of Christmas gifts. So, she sent the presents by express, or whatever the super-fast shipping that costs extra money is called, on December 8th. By Christmas, the presents still ahdn't arrived. The conclusion that my mom and my aunt reached was that the presents had in fact arrived but that they had been stolen off of the front porch.
I had a hard time imagining the kind of person who would randomly steal packages that turned out to contain Christmas presents for children, but I guess that it takes all kinds or something like that.
Anyway, the presents were not stolen and arrived on the 29th, which is only 21 FLIPPIN' DAYS after they were sent.
Intrigued, my mom found the tracking number for the presents and looked up there travel path. The path went a little something like this:
December 8th: Presents sent!
December 11th: Presents in California! The wrong part of California....
December 13thish: Presents in Maryland for some unknown reason!!
December 13thish-December 26thish: Presents chillin' in Maryland!!!
December 27th: Presents in North Carolina (the state of my birth)!!!!!
December 29th: Presents are FINALLY where they belong in the right part of California. My cousins enjoy belated Christmas gifts.
I have recently ordered my school books for next semester. They are supposed to be here by Wednesday afternoon, but I am concerned about them arriving in time now. I have no faith in the US Postal System.
If they do not get here in time and parents have to ship them to my college, I may cry a little bit...
ModernHelen
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)